I've struggled to write anything in honor of ending this calendar year. In teacher life, the end of the year is May, the beginning is August, so December just doesn't feel exactly like the end of anything-it's more of a middle feeling, a not quite done thing.
In my life, I feel like I have crammed the equivalent of a year in under 6 months. I left a job and moved in with my parents for four months, leaving Oklahoma for Arkansas. I searched for a house, made an offer on a house that was denied, bought a different house, then moved into that other house. While that was going on, I took one graduate class, and put off working on my final internship until the last possible moment. I turned thirty; a few weeks later, I pulled off a semi-miracle and turned in my internship assignments, and completed the master's degree. Oh, and I designed and executed a 9-12 grade curriculum- that went (mostly) okay.
Here and now, at the end of December, I just feel drained; even writing the overview of the last few months feels frantic. I did not participate in much holidaying- the only tree in my house is the desktop-size one from a classroom of mine from the past. I didn't decorate it.
Going into the next semester and into the next year, I want to find some sort of rhythm that feels somewhat sustainable to me. I like being busy and working towards goals- so I need to find some new goals that feel right.
I'm just struggling to figure out exactly what those goals should be- I suppose I need a healthy dose of inspiration. But first-rest.
Monday, December 31, 2018
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