Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Sunday, March 25, 2012


I miss writing. Research papers, poetry, fiction, blog posts-I miss it all. I don't even post to facebook that much anymore. The last few months have been a blur, all of it exhausting and painful. My job became more than a job, becoming a dementor. Over spring break, I promised myself that I will write every day after school. I don't care what I'm writing, just that I spend some time each day. Most of it will surely be crap, but whatever. I need to get back to thinking, writing, creating.

As I was driving back to my apartment from my parent's house today, the above song came on the radio. I was again struck by the line "leaving home was the hardest thing we ever faced." Cheesy, perhaps, but is the reason this job has been sucking my everlasting soul these last few months also because I'm just plain ole homesick?

Perhaps...but maybe I will always be homesick, no matter where I am-just not when I'm writing. Thankfully.

Thursday, January 5, 2012


The word "content" has been haunting me; you see, I just reached 100 posts on inklingspot. Go me! However, that word has also hung over my whiteboard for weeks because it is one of the domains essays are graded on for the Arkansas Benchmark exam. The other domains, or categories, all have helpful hints underneath them to encourage children to gain more points. "Style" has lots of figurative language; "Usage" and "Mechanics" basically say don't screw up the English language and you'll do fine.

The problem with my children's content scores is simply that they have very few of the life experiences necessary to produce content. They simply don't have the foundational experiences that lead to imagination, creative thinking, and interesting writing.

I started the year thinking I had plenty of the life experiences needed to produce content; after all, I've been a pretty okay writer in college. But. What have I actually tangibly produced since starting this teaching gig? A couple of bulletin boards and a grand total of six hats over Christmas break. I don't even have any photos of my first apartment, my classroom, my holiday.

I feel like I'm running low on content. I need life experiences. I need an adventure. Soon.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Trying to Tune In...

Welcome to 2012. I remember doing a report about the Titanic in 4th grade, realizing that I could very well be alive on the 100 year anniversary of the sinking. Of course, as a 4th grader, my next thought was, "Yeah, 2012. That'll never happen."

But, here I am. I have some big plans for the coming year, but I wonder if my stamina can sustain my big plans. I feel very run down with my current gig and general mode of life. My beliefs and big goals each seem knotted. A friend suggested that I need to 'listen to the whispers of the heart' more often. 

Let me tell you, though-my heart doesn't just whisper. Sometimes it rocks out in a big, raucous, way. 

June 2020

Some context (and flowers):  When I was 16, I moved out of my parents house. My first roommate didn't stay, so I think a nine-weeks into...